My dear sister, this brother has been hanging around you for a long time. He is nice, no doubt. But hasn’t said anything. But you don’t mind. At least he is there.
The truth of the matter is, once a person is serious, interested and prepared, he would build his intentions identified.
But No. You want to give him time. And you don’t want to ask him, so you don’t drive him away. You keep hoping against hope.
Are you Abraham?
You better ask him what his mission is. IF HE IS STAMMERING ABOUT IT, THEN SHOW HIM A NICE CLEAN RED CARD.
Even God, when people are neither hot nor cold, he spews them out.
I may be writing these things in a funny manner. But I tell you, these things have caused many pain in our churches….home and abroad…
So sister, the ball is in ya court o…
If not, na for him blackberry, Instagram, whatsapp, or Facebook profile you go see his wedding invitation with another sister. My better half episode one (my story).
My dear sister, you know you don’t want to marry that brother, u know deep within u… However you don’t want him to go. You want him to hang around until Mr RIGHT shows up. Meanwhile you know his intentions are genuine o.
In fact he has even made them clear. But no, your eye is on another better brother you hope will come by, and in reality this brother has no intentions of coming by. But in the interim, you keep receiving gifts and attention from the serious brother.
What you don’t understand is that time is going. And what Yorubas call “OJUKOKORO”(greed) is your problem. And if you are not careful, you will lose both ends. And then turn out to ask,”Lord, but why?”
My dear brother, I know you did not propose to the sister. But you were calling her every 10 – 10mins. Checking up on her from time to time. In fact you send her a word for the day, everyday. Listen to her when she has things to share and give her godly counsel. In fact, you pray her to bed everyday. Chatting over social media and having late night calls.
You even pick her up and drop her off when she needs a ride. And send gifts from time to time. But in fairness to you, you have not said anything. At least not anything serious.
Then you hear from a friend that the sister has said that some friends pray for both of you as ” The Lord” is doing something.
Then you get upset… ” what is wrong with you sister A, can’t someone be friendly anymore, what’s wrong with all these sisters self. Can’t someone be a brother in Christ again. How could she say that? I’ve never said anything about marriage or a relationship to her”.
Na true….. when you were playing “assistant Holy Ghost” you didn’t know abi? For don’t you know that actions speak louder that words?
My dear, ignorance is not an excuse. STOP LEADING THEM ON. Read Proverbs 1:1-2. There is something a young man must have. And it’s called “DISCRETION” . You must know where to draw the line, and when you are crossing it.
Just say “I’M SORRY”. finish.
Someone asked a really sensible question, “So wherever and once will we grasp to draw the LINE??
On the other hand , it is not a very good question, because as Christians, filled with the Holy Ghost, we are alerted when we begin to cross boundaries. The Holy Spirit does a great job of convicting us when we sin. Except his ministry has been stifled in the life of the believe. Then they get so insensitive to his promptings.
And if the “Assistant holy ghost” brothers are sincere, they’ll admit they had this alarm inside going off when lines where crossed. And talking about ”assistant holy ghost”, there can be two categories of such brothers. The ignorant and naive ones, who are sincerely wrong, and the deliberate class, who know exactly what they are doing.
Most brothers, have at one time or the other fallen into group one. Until you begin to hear from friends, and have them tease you about the sister, you then realize how far you have gone.
However, the ones that know exactly what they are doing, knowing sister is already loving up, and still go ahead to satisfy their flesh by giving and receiving attention are the “MAIN culprits.” Even though, both are still guilty….
A guy can chase a particular lady for years unending and still be chasing another person and loving the other person without you knowing…. So its not by the no of years, gifts or time that you know who is nd who is not… We really need to be sensitive enough to decipher a guys true intentions…
I would say, be SENSITIVE to the promptings of the Spirit. Sometimes you just stop. Or be nice with moderation. The idea of giving a particular sister a word a day, everyday is not your place. You are not ” open heavens devotional” na!
Then there is this thing brothers do nowadays. Putting up a sister’s picture on their dp, and writing sweet things by the side. When is not even her birthday or something. Women are wired differently. To you, that’s nothing, but to her, especially when you start doing so frequently, she has started imagining her wedding cake, with you by the side.
Worst of all is when they are seen attending public functions together, and sometimes having colour schemes and in extreme cases dress alike. Haba! Una don marry be that naaa…. And you dey argue??????
Don’t call her late at night discussing her day and challenges, and praying for the endtime revival together, then you both sleep off on the phone. Pray for the endtime revival alone.
Don’t send gifts unnecessarily, even if your bank account is pressed down, shaken together and running over.
So this doesn’t sound like reeling out a set of rules, bottom line is be led by the Spirit. Truth is, we know when we are crossing the lines, but flesh flesh flesh fleshy flesh won’t agree….Made for each other Episode one.
I believe this is what is called INORDINATE AFFECTION . It is a manifestation of the works of the flesh.
I believe brothers can have sincere and healthy friendship with sisters without any entanglement. But all things must be done decently and in order…. All of these should be more than enough for the wise.
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