My Mom Is Too Protective

Aunty Julie,
I’m worried about my mom and her attitude to my
relationships. No lady seems good enough for me and she
keeps sending them away. I’m currently dating my girlfriend
for a year and a half now.

Recently, my overly protective mother saw me and my
girlfriend making out on the couch. And then she separated
us and made my girlfriend leave!
My girlfriend later called and told me that if my mom is
going to control our relationship, then we may as well just
be friends. I told her that it was okay because my mom
usually gets weird like that.
After my girl left, my mom got mad and told me that she
wasn’t allowed near our house any more. I don’t know what
to do! I really love my girlfriend and she really loves me,
but my mom keeps getting between us and makes my
girlfriend unsure if she still wants to date me! It is not the
first time. What should I do about my overly protective
mom? Would I be able to settle down in a married
relationship because the way she is going, an angel has to
come down from heaven to meet her standard for me. I am
25, a University graduate and I’m working but I live with my
mom. I like that setting but she is encroaching too much
into my affairs.
Bobby, Benin
Dear Bobby,
While you are living with your mom in her house, you need
to stick to her rules I’m afraid! The best advice is to try to
compromise with her show her that you are prepared to
meet her half way. Maybe you could explain to your mom
that you really love your girlfriend and you would really like
to have her blessing for you to be together. You could put it
to your mom that you invite your girlfriend around to lunch
over a weekend. Maybe you could offer to cook so that your
mom and girlfriend have a chance to get to know each
other. Or, you could invite your mom and your girlfriend out
for lunch somewhere on “neutral ground” so your girlfriend
doesn’t feel intimidated by your mom.
Your mom won’t be able to stop you from seeing your
girlfriend unless your girlfriend decides she has had enough
but she will be able to make life hard for you both. Try to
work it out the most diplomatic way you can. If this fails,
you may just have to stick to mom’s rules in the house.
Maybe you could spend more time with your girlfriend and
her family. Who knows—maybe if you do that, then your
mom might miss you and decide to be a bit more
hospitable to your girlfriend.
If you are being respectful of your mom’s house rules but
encouraging open communication between your mom and
your girlfriend, hopefully you will get the outcome you want.

BY Nwafor Polycarp

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